SNEAK PEEK!!!

If you love reading my blog, well I have great news! I'm relaunching my blog!!!!!!! I've been working on it since Sunday and I'm still making some changes to it. As my loyal readers, I wanted to give ya'll an exclusive first look before I make it official on my facebook and twitter. Go ahead and welcome to www.carlalove.com

DOUCHE BAG OF THE DAY: MY JOB'S AIR CONDITIONER

Dear Air Conditioner,

I'm devastated . For the past 4 hours I've been siting at my desk questioning where it all went wrong. Why did you give up on me all of a sudden? It has affected me so much, my co-workers are starting to ask about you. It's burning inside me that I have no words to explain what happened.

I tried thinking about the happy moments. During the summer, I would come early so I could turn you on. You sure liked it, I could felt the cool breeze right away. But lately I've been coming to work late. Honestly it's not you, I'm just really lazy about waking up. I take forever showering and putting an outfit together.

Reading that last sentence makes me feel so selfish. I have failed you.

Jerry has seemed to replace me. He always gets here first and well, he turns you on. But I can tell he doesn't do it like I did. Sometimes I notice you're not on the right temperature and it really bothers me.

You left me 4 hours ago and I don't understand why I'm still wearing this sweater.

Anyways, I just want to let you know that I met somebody. Vornado has been by my side for a while now. I never paid much attention to him until 4 hours ago. You might think that was quick of me to move on but understand I am wearing a sweater. I needed you and you weren't there! Vornado makes me feel so happy that when I put my face against his, he makes my hair go wild. I'm sorry if that's too much information.

I'm only using him for now, but don't tell him. We shall wait until boss get's back so we can work things out.

Love,
Carla

This is a picture of Vornado.

Things That Annoyed Me

1. My mother yelling at me to clean my room while I’m watching TV.  

First of all, why is she yelling? I can understand her frustration if I was a high school dropout, with 5 kids (2 of which I don't know who the fathers are) and no job.

(Disclaimer: I’m not saying those high school dropouts, with 5 kids and no job need to be neat freaks. I’m ACTUALLY saying if you are a high school dropout, with 5 kids and no job, then you shouldn’t be watching TV.)

I’ll clean my room when my show is over mother!

2. When I set my alarm for 8:00AM but wake up at 7:36AM.

Then I go back to sleep convening myself that next time I open my eyes it will be exactly 8:00AM!!! Problem is that rarely happens, unless I was a robot. But since I’m not a robot, I don’t understand why I still do it.

I end up waking up at 8:27AM and now I'm rushing late to work.

This is actually a daily account of my mornings just ask my boss.

3. When I order a spicy plate at a Mexican Restaurant and its not spicy. 

The waitress then breaks the unfortunate news that they don’t have a spicy-ER sauce. She might as well stave a knife into my stomach and yell, “NO HOT SAUCE FOR YOU BELLY!” While I my guts fall out and I'm crying out, "WHY! WHY ME!" :(

Okay that's a bit dramatic, but that's how it feels.

4.  When people don’t put their turn signal on!!

I’m new to this whole “driving” thing. Yes, I’m 22 years old and I’m just now on the streets, behind his humongous machine running over everything that gets on my way!

Okay, I’m lying. Actually I'm not a fun driver yet, I'm on the “grandma stage.” You know the first couple of days of learning how to drive and being SUPER MEGA cautious with the seat all the way to the front. And worst of all driving AT THE SPEED LIMIT! Yes, that's me -_- I'll be a badass on the streets in a couple of days, not like my mother's friend that decided to crash into a 7-Eleven!!! 

I wonder how often you get to say, "dude I just crashed into a 7-Eleven." What an amazing human being, such a daredevil!

Anyways, back to assholes that forget to put on their turn signals! I sometimes just want to crash into them to teach them a lesson. But after thinking about it (me crash, now car no good, now me crying at home with no car (is it racist that I wrote that in a Chinese accent?)) I guess I’ll just resort to honking the shit out of my horn!!!

5. Last but not least, roaches.

 I HATE roaches, they are like little douche bags that run around thinking they are cool. No! You will get sprayed and you will die!!!